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Love?

Just found out that we needed write a love poem. Rather than write some beta love poem I did this…

When I saw you for the first time,
I felt chills down my spine,
Mustered up the courage to ask you to dine.

You said yes,
At 7:30 I will be dressed,
But I picked you up a few minutes less.

We got to the venue,
You ordered from the menu,
And asked if i had any money to lend you.

I gave you some money,
And knew something was funny,
Now I’m down a dollar and a honey.

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~ by billyfrawley on October 17, 2011.

8 Responses to “Love?”

  1. Your poems make me laugh. Your rhyme scheme makes me feel like this could be rapped somehow? maybe not hah. but i enjoyed reading this.

  2. I believe music is a medium of poetry. I tend to songwrite, mostly rock songs and freestyle here and there haha. This can definitely be rapped but the main objective was to tell a story of some poor guy who got played by “love”. I’ll post a more sinister poem soon.

  3. hey Billy. I agree that your rhyme schemes are pretty funny, avoiding lofty poetic sentiments in favor of a folksy, conversational lyric. This works well for rap, as Madison points out. Curious about the forthcoming “sinister” poem–for the purposes of this class, will you try something different, outside of your comfort zone? Do you find any of the poems in our weekly readings inspiring, offering a tone, a structure, a mood, or a technique you would like to try?

  4. i agree with both of them, but this is so cute and funny.

  5. Extended Peer Review
    **This is a repost. The original is on Mr. Frawley’s last creative nonfiction post.**

  6. This blog is centered around cars, and from that central theme branches ideas about life, the economy, environment, and even propaganda. I found this blog informative in a way that was not too out of reach for someone with little to no knowledge about cars, but believe that those who do work with cars would find it enjoyable as well. There is a noticeable conflict throughout this blog between American muscle cars and foreign luxury cars, as well as that between electric versus gas powered vehicles. It is clear in several areas of the blog that the author has very strong feelings concerning what he is writing about, which I believe to have a greater affect on the reader as opposed to him simply reporting information.
    Looking at the first post “Live Life As You See Fit”, I was originally confused with why such different ideas were focused on in the post, with seemingly no transition between the two. After reading it again, I found the correlation between the topics being that money will not make you happy, just as buying a car with an impressive label is not necessarily the best on the market. The quality of something is more important than how it is seen to be. The second post, “American Muscle”, is very patriotic, and I found it humorous. The author is a clear advocate of American muscle cars, and uses sensory imagery to depict a funny scenario of a “boring” luxury car being overtaken by a muscle car “that packs a serious punch”. “Electric Cars”, the third post, touches on the environment by examining electric cars in regards to their value and their benefits. The author highlights of GM’s first modern day mass produced electric car and the theory of its recall being due to oil companies paying off General Motors to eliminate competition that could potentially harm their business. The author reflects on the idea that some would rather make money now than to look out for the planet in the long term. The fourth post, “Raising the Bar”, was informative without being dull, and looks into the Corporate Average Fuel Economy. There is a personal conflict within this post. The author seems torn between agreeing with more environmentally efficient vehicles, and being concerned with preserving the authenticity and integrity, or even the soul, of the original muscle cars, such as the Mustang GT.
    Throughout the blog, the author is upfront with what he is trying to say, and is very conversational, which makes his audience comfortable. He is opinionated, but not without supporting his views. I think that this was well written in that the author was enlightening his readers without being condescending or showing off his knowledge. My favorite post was “American Muscle” because the author seemed to show his personality all throughout the post, as opposed to just at the end. My suggestion would be for him to infuse more of his feelings into all of his posts, because the definite humor of that post made it extremely entertaining and interesting.
    The poem “Dream On” utilizes rhyme. This poem is very motivational to readers and reminds me of Oh, The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss. I believe that “Think” is a very successful poem in that it does just what the author is trying to make his audience do: think. It’s an affecting piece that uses rhyme to give a cohesive sound. “Love?”, Mr. Frawley’s latest poem, is very funny. He took the assigned them of “love” and makes fun of it in a way, portraying some happy-go-lucky guy taking a crush out on a date and getting played. I think his poems are similar to his blog posts in that he uses similar tools such as humor and personal convictions.

  7. it is cute..and I mean that in a nice way. I like how it rhyms. And I do agree I would like to hear it rapped. 🙂 great job!

  8. Totally made me laugh; I feel bad for the guy though. I loved the way it tells a story and I enjoyed the rhyme scheme. I dare you to rap this in class – that’d be awsome.

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